I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
