This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
