Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
