ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
