How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
