What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
