I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
