So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
