I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
