Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
