Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
