I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
