Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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