it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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