Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
ttyl tear gas
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
