her vagine was all disorganized.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
