I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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