last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
