I wanna bring you to show and tell
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Sober January is a disaster.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
