Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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