i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
