It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
