You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
