Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
