just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
