I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My vagina just recognized that song.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
