I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
