yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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