Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
