What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
