Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I wish i was in the wii world.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He shit in the fireplace
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
