Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
