tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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