i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
