I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
