just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
