playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
