Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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