I'm lost and stupid without you.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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