'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
