its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
