so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
