people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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