I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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