remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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