brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
