My pussy is not your playground.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
