Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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