this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
