your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
